Orgasms are Overrated

Yeah, I said it. As I slide inexorably into menopause, I’ve had to re-set my expectations when it comes to being sexual. And, to be honest, I’ve come to this place kicking and screaming, (which, since I’m being honest, in the old days, would have been a part of the “nasty-dance” itself sometimes. Hahahahahahaha! Kidding!)

I like sex. I like the big O. I like my body. I like other people’s bodies. All of my life, I’ve had a vigorous, healthy appetite and when I was young, I never lacked for willing partners. Yep, I was a busy girl and unabashedly so. Young and intensely physical, I really liked connecting on a body level and being athletic. Sex was always a great means of experiencing my physicality and connection with others.

BUT, it’s all a strange terrain now, my lovelies. Previously highly O-gasmic and ready to go whenever and wherever, I’m now stuck in a foreign land where I speak not one word of the local language; I’m Iost in unfamiliar twists and turns, dead-end alleys, and set-backs. I’m now in a realm where the slightest little thing (the cat jumping on the bed, thoughts in my head, a sneeze) will derail my O-train. **Sigh** This sucks (and not in a good way). LOL!

Yeah. I one of those women now. Oh. God. I’m not ready to be beat-to-poop by my endocrine system. I’m not ready for this. I’m so not ready to be old. What the frack?!

Because I’m such a highly results-driven personality and a perfectionist, I recently (and disturbingly) caught myself calculating whether it’s “worth it” to get all worked up and have no “closing ceremony,” so to speak. I’ve been assessing whether it’s worth jumping up and down on the street, waving flags, screaming, and shaking my tushy if nothing is going to “finish the parade”, as it were. This has been quite frustrating and honestly, it’s recently made me want to give up on being intimate. It started to feel like a bother.

But, then it hit me. I get to change my attitude. Instead of resisting this turn of events, I can hugsimply accept where my body is right now, accept that this is the reality at the moment, accept the change. I might not be able to address all of the stuff going on with my adrenals, but I can adjust my thinking. I can accept that it’s about the journey that my body and I are taking together right now. Bottom line, I’m being given an opportunity to stay present and make a greater emotional connection with my body and my partner. And, the really cool thing is that I’m finding a softness, a meditation of sorts, a way to be fully present in the moment and to accept life inside of a body that needs different things from me right now. I can use my and my husband’s “happy little episodes” to connect with him on a deeper (No pun! Don’t even go there!) level.

So, instead of being resentful and irritated, I shifted my perception and expectation of being intimate and changed the story that I’m telling. This is about honoring another way of being and enjoying the resulting intimacy. And, it’s been great fun. Hell, it’s fun to simply giggle and say “I wonder if I’ll get one this time?! Let’s go for it, big-boy!”

Now that I’ve taken all of the pressure off of “sticking the landing”, I’ve gone beyond seeking the O and onto the rest of the letters in the alphabet. They are very nice letters; I’m having a blast getting to know them and when I get the gift of a “big-happy-finish”, I find I’m screaming quite a few of those other letters. :)

What about you? Has your endocrine system been slapping you around? Do you have any tips for dealing with the change? You wanna yak about your experiences? Talk to me. :)

Our Body is Our One True Home

Following is a quote from a remarkable woman, Anita Avalos, who I recently had the distinct pleasure of talking with on the phone and getting to know a bit. She says: “Our body is our one true home, why not love where you live?”

Um, yeah. That just about sums it all up, now doesn’t it? I think I’ll get this tattooed on me somewhere because it really is the core of what I encourage others to do by way of this blog: Love what you got and it will change. But, this post is about Anita and YOU and how you might play together to find a deeper, richer process and healing around the body.

Body-Goddess, Anita Avalos

Body-Goddess, Anita Avalos

Ms. Avalos is a Holistic Health, Eating Psychology, and Body-Food Relationship Coach who contacted me a couple of months ago to discuss her work and how much she likes my blog. We had an incredible conversation. I immediately felt like I was talking with one of my long-term friends. She and I were instantly comfortable together. Anita exudes compassion, understanding, and acceptance. She cares about other people and this caring forms the core of her offerings. It was immediately clear to me that Anita does not want you or I to change. She wants to help us love. And, by helping people get clear, showing them how to work with what they have, and providing them with tools to support their journey, she does just that.

Anita’s entire aim is to help people “Learn a diet-free approach to creating the body they love and a life that rocks.” What does this mean? This means, achieving body acceptance by methods other than obsessive dieting, working out, or otherwise dominating or belittling the body. To me, it means: finding ways to love and accept the body first and then noticing that your behaviors then align with that love and acceptance. For example, if you feel good about your body, you naturally want to move it more. If you love who you are becoming, you naturally gravitate toward healthier habits and relationships. It’s about practicing and working at core stuff, the stuff that is largely ignored by our appearance-obsessed culture. By the way, these are my words, not necessarily Anita’s, but I think she would agree with me based on everything we learned about each other. :)

This work that Anita does is deeply emotional, personal, and transformative. Through live workshops, seminars, and personal one-to-one sessions, she’s helping people understand their relationship with the body and food. She helps people safely explore their body shame and where it comes from so they can move past it. She helps people connect with who they really are on an emotional, psychological, and behavioral level and then gives them access to tools and new behaviors that help them learn what works for them and what detracts from their highest good. This work is life-changing and life-giving. It’s a different journey for every person and each exploration is revealing, captivating, and astonishingly beautiful.

Anita’s web site does a much better job of letting you experience what her work is all about, so please be sure to click over and spend some time exploring there. And, if you seek out Anita’s help and feel inclined to guest post here about your experience, that would thrill me to no end.

Something that I’ve said from the beginning and is my core philosophy is that the body and its shape or level of fitness is a direct by-product of one’s alignment and acceptance. If one has little or no self-acceptance, less than desirable health or fitness can result. Our bodies simply cannot achieve lasting and optimal health without addressing our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and behaviors, combined.

I think the work that Anita is doing is hugely healing and beneficial for all of us (whether you seek her direct help or not). Anita gets it. She gets and gives what the world so deeply needs. Thank you for the tremendously healing and helpful work you do, Anita. :) You are so right. Our body is our one true home. Let’s love it.

There’s Nothing to Fear Here, Peeps, Part Two

Did you manage to unclench your tushy? Are you relaxed, open, engaged? Feeling happy? Good. Let’s go into this topic a bit more. As we all pondered together so nicely in Part One of this two-part post, there is ultimately nothing to fear from life on planet earth because:

  • We are collectively asking for a deeper awareness, a global, human-wide shift in consciousness and it is happening.
  • Evidence of mankind’s divinity is sprinkled throughout the world’s religions, books, artworks, meditations, and sacred texts.
  • We are vastly powerful electromagnetic/spiritual beings who are here for the sole (soul) purpose of expanding our consciousness, remembering our divinity, and to love.
  • Our expansion takes many forms, many passes to get it honed, and many permutations. There is nothing to fear in this process. We get the time, energy, and support to do the job of living and we live over and over.
  • We each made a life plan before we got here and are doing a wonderful job of working to our plan no matter the current circumstances of our lives.
  • We humans create reality, all of it (down to the tiniest detail; quantum physics pretty-much points to (proves) this; more on this topic in a future post).

background_heartSo, this means that you (we all) are safe. You are protected. You are guided by a team of people (energy beings) who stay on the Other Side while you incarnate and who support you, encourage you, and love you no matter what choices you make. You are helped at every step of the way. You are regarded, loved, and revered by God/Goddess/Source Energy for your contribution to the larger good, the collective expansion, no matter what you are doing, saying, living, or expressing. By being alive on the planet right now, you are here taking one for the larger human team because you are working through your issues, feeling your feelings, growing in each and every moment, making mistakes, learning from your mistakes, changing your behaviors for the better (ultimately) and getting closer to the truth, your truth.

Here’s the best part:

You do not fail at this. None of us can fail at this. We never get an “F” at the end of life. NONE of us fail. Not even the murderers. Yeah, I know. That’s an inflammatory statement for many people and it will cause reactions that range from “yeah” to “hell-the-eff-no!” But, that’s the beauty of beliefs. They are different for everyone. Anyway, maybe the murderers fail at compassion and they certainly fail in other people’s eyes while we’re all here and hashing it out together. They fail at sticking to a better plan for themselves and they cause lots of pain and unhappiness, but in my belief system, they–we all–choose negative incarnations as one option in many and at one time or another. We all choose the negative so we can learn our way toward the positive.

Yes, we all pay some kind of price at the end, but it’s one of self-analysis and self-judgement, not judgement from on high. We are not judged by a supreme deity who demands obedience, submission, compliance, or piety and who, based on our actions in one measly life, sends us up or down. Not in my belief system anyway. God is way cooler than that and way more permissive than that.

Proof of These Assertions? For me, yes!

So, the one thing that you must do, if you are at all interested in piecing together the assertions in these two posts, is read the fascinating books by Michael Newton, PhD.
The books are Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls. I read them with every hair standing up on my head. Literally, these two volumes changed my life, very swiftly and dramatically.

By reading just 20 pages in Journey of Souls, I was instantly freed from my horrible childhood, a childhood that had included awful physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. I was instantly released from the trauma, pain, and anxiety of my early years and I was freed from my long-standing disdain for my family unit. I instantly understood why all of it happened and further, how it all added to who I had become. These works explained everything so clearly, so pointedly, and so poignantly that I wept in relief and gratitude as I read. These books are amazing. And, they go a very long way toward proving what I’m asserting here.JOS

Mr. Newton is a highly educated psychotherapist who began investigating the use of hypnosis as a means of helping patients get past deeply ingrained emotional and mental “blockages”. Despite years of therapy and learning in great detail about how they themselves tick, some of his patients never seemed to progress. He observed that many of his clients would never seem to get past certain destructive “entrenched” behaviors. For example, they repeated the same relationships over and over. They repeated the same mistakes over and over. They had the same traumas over and over and those decisions that they were chronically making were adversely impacting their ability to heal, grow, prosper, be lastingly happy, or advance in therapy.

Newton’s quest to help people led him to become a licensed hypnotherapist and in the course of working with various patients who were open to using hypnotherapy in their healing, he discovered that he was incredibly good at regressing patients. Newton began chronicling his hypnosis practices and recording his patients’ sessions and then he made an astounding discovery. As he got better at regressing people, he noticed that all of the patients began talking, in vivid detail, about their previous lives. newton-instituteNewton, once a rather sober, scientific, and “show-me-the-proof,” learned man became a believer in reincarnation because the evidence was so irrefutable.

This man personally regressed some 10 thousand patients and before he retired, he trained therapists all over the world in his practices so that the work could continue. The “Souls” books chronicle many, many case-studies of patients who have visited past lives in therapy and also explored the in-between lives planning that we all undertake before we adopt new bodies. And, it’s worth mentioning that not all of Newton’s patients necessarily believed in reincarnation or had any propensity toward non-traditional belief systems. They were from all walks of life, all religious persuasions, all corners of the globe. But, one thing united them: Their very similar stories of “The Other Side” and what happens over there and the healthful benefits of this therapy. All of them were freed from the past “blockages” that had previously so plagued them and limited their healing.

Here’s what I know. We are well. We are safe. We are immortal. Our souls know what we are doing here at all times. We have a team of people helping us on this journey called life and for every life we enter into. We are not wrong. We are not sinners. We are not misguided or flawed or failures. We are not bad. None of us. If we have pain in our lives, it is up to each one of us to walk forward into the pain and learn from it. We can do this. We create our reality and we are powerful magnets for all life circumstances. There is proof of this all around us, all we have to do is entertain the notion that this could be true and begin looking, really looking.

Our “bad parents” or “bad spouses” or “shitty bosses” are our greatest allies because they help us expand. They agree to come in with us, be the adversary, and be the impetus for us to learn and grow. Our enemies are our greatest friends because they are willing to be the bad guy so that we get clear on who we are, our very real power, and our very active role in shaping our consciousness and lives. There is nothing to fear here on the earth plane. Every circumstance adds to who we are and we control a helluva lot more of it than we think. It’s all working out for the best even when it’s appears to be the worst. We got this. :)

 

UnClench Your Tushy: There’s Nothing to Fear Here, Peeps, Part One

What if you knew that there is nothing, and I mean nothing to fear here on good ol’ planet earth? Not disease, death, financial ruin, or other people’s expressions or actions. Seriously, what if you knew on such a core level that you are safe, secure, and protected? What if you could move through life with utter acceptance, confidence, and trust? You can. We all can.

laughing

Admittedly, these are audacious words. The concepts that I’ll present here will challenge your deep-seated beliefs about this planet and life upon it. I know. This post will strike some as outlandish, unthinkable or even dead-wrong. Regardless, it doesn’t change the fact that humanity is asking for a deeper awareness, a way out of the madness, the pestilence, the damage, and the hurt that we have caused ourselves, each other, and this planet. We are asking. and, the ideas here are a way for some of us to get clear.

To accept the premises of this post, you’ll be well-served by entertaining a “what-if” mindset. Just entertain the notion that this could be the truth for you and if there is something here of use to your expansion as a human being, your higher self, the soul part of you, will recognize it and receive what it needs. (Want some fun and cool daily reminders of this, visit Mike Dooley’s site and sign up for his Notes from the Universe.) Ready to begin? Okay. First off and it bears repeating:

There is nothing to fear here. And, I mean NOTHING. Yep, you read that right. There is nothing to fear on this planet. Everything is in its place and working out according to not only your elaborate plans (before you got here), your very wishes. It’s true. Stay with me.

For just a moment, loosen your butt-cheeks. Breath into the space where the tension was holding in your body and please feel these words as deeply as you can. You are not in danger of any kind no matter what the circumstances are and no matter how bad it looks to you or others. You are NOT IN DANGER, ever. In pain? Not in danger. Sick? Not in danger. Shitty boss? Not in danger. In jail? Not in danger. Horrible upbringing? Not in danger. Stolen from, lied to, beaten, abused, mistreated? No danger, no danger, no danger, no danger.

peace

How do I know that none of us are ever truly in danger? Thousands of years of various “truths” sprinkled throughout humanity’s esoteric scriptures, nestled into the world’s religions, and hidden in plain view among our collective art works, books, films, and writings. Take for example, the Buddha who said: “What you think, you become” or his “We are shaped by our thoughts”. Or, Jesus’ wonderful statement: “Ask and it is given” and his: “You, too can do these things and even greater than I have done.” We have markers of our true place and power plopped everywhere from the Holy Bible to the Talmud to the Tao Te Ching, to the Vedas, to the tattered and crumbling papyrus scrolls hidden deep in the caves of Egypt and Tibet (which predate all Western religions).

Mankind has been given “the path” in so many permutations and forms that it’s astounding to me that we still believe we are victims. We still act like petulant children who believe that other people or life’s circumstances have the power to truly hurt us. We still act like we have no control over our direct experiences, that we are victims of the economy, victims of the weather, victims of each other, victims of our own bodies. We are not victims. And, it no longer serves us to believe that we are.  Further, I’ll just go ahead and say it: The human race needs to grow the f*ck up and take responsibility. It’s time.

We come here to lovely earth for lessons. We come here for pain so that we can motivate ourselves to push deeper and to align with who we really are: vastly powerful spiritual beings who are here for the sole (soul) purpose of expanding our consciousness and learning our divinity. We come here to learn. This is a school. We agree to come here and take our lessons. No one forces us from our happy nest on the Other Side. We willingly reincarnate to take another crack at life, to learn, to expand, to grow, and to LOVE.

It takes all kinds of lives to “stick the landing”. It takes all kinds of “conditions” for us to remember that we come from love and will return to love and love is the only thing that matters, but we can’t get to this truth but through lots of lives of hating, destroying, hurting, and learning very tough, very painful lessons. It’s okay. Everything is FINE. It’s all perfect. All of it. Even the shitty stuff.

We are powerful creators in this time-space and we design elaborate plans for when we incarnate. We then incarnate and work the plans that we made and we work the agreements that we make with others until we return home, a hero. In every case. We all triumph in the earth-school and yes, even those of us who lie, steal, cheat, kill, abuse, or love. Oh, yeah.

I know. It really yanks your chain to think that there is no judgement from on high. No real repercussion and no “court of human law” in the skies to which we are sent when we are bad. But, in my belief system, there isn’t. There is only energy and a particular quality associated with an energy. There is only cause and effect. We emanate a frequency, be it from emotion or thought, and from the sphere of influence that is our body/mind/consciousness, like-energy returns to the source of its creation. Period. Bad energy, bad experiences. Good energy, good experiences. In-between energy, scattered experiences. We, however, draw all of it through our choices.

We create thoughts and the energy goes out into the universe, coalesces with like-frequencies, and returns in the form of experiences, exchanges with others, and yes, even car troubles or the weather. See Abraham-Hicks for more on this. All experiences in your life, all energy in your life, all circumstances in your life are drawn there by you for the purpose of learning.

Don’t believe it. That’s okay. It doesn’t change the fact one bit. You are the magnet that attracts what you ask to learn. You are the source of all experiences in your life. You then use your exchanges with others, by design, to get your lessons, whatever those look like. You draw from your environment what you most heavily concentrate on and what you imbue with the strongest emotion and thought (given your current state of awareness and consciousness). The question is do you like the energy in your life? Do you like the experiences that you are having? Have you learned what you came to learn? Do you want change?

Stay tuned for part II next week. Be well. Know your power and entertain the ideas presented here. Everything is going how we all agreed it should go and nothing can truly harm us. Promise. If I haven’t convinced you yet, maybe my next post will help. As always, feel free to share your thoughts, my darling friends. All my light and love to you, Lizzy

Holy Poetry! I Won a Prize, Peeps!

Hi, BigBodyBeautiful friends!

Just a quick post to tell you some cool news. I, along with some other incredible poets won a poetry prize. The contest, hosted by the amazing poetry site, The Poet’s Billow, held a Bermuda Triangle Poetry contest on the theme of disappearance.

My poem, Invisible Woman was selected as one of the prize winners. The poem is an observation (not a lament, mind you) of how when one becomes fat, one actually disappears. Check it out, be sure to read the other winning poets, and feel free to share your thoughts here. Oh, and the contributor’s page is pretty cool, too, because you can get biographical information on all of the writers.

Thank you so much, The Poet’s Billow. I’ve loved working with you cool, creative, and nurturing peeps. Please support these guys, readers. They do so much for the poetry community. <3

BigBodyBeautiful is a One-Year-Old!

Hi, BBB-peeps!

Can you believe it’s been a year (today) since I started BigBodyBeautiful?!

OMG, so much has happened in the last year. We’ve taken lots of awesome journeys together, haven’t we? You’ve allowed me to traipse through your brains, live in your reality, and figuratively (ha, ha!) explore your gorgeous bodies. You’ve listened to me, encouraged me, written awesome guest posts here, and connected with each other and me in very meaningful ways. You’ve given so much of yourselves and have graced my blog and life with your thoughtful, soulful responses, ideas, and discussions.b-daycake

The world is hungry for this message and it takes all of us. What I do here cannot be done without you. Oh, sure. I’m a writer. I’ll always write, but what truly makes the writer is the audience, the exchange of energy, and the sharing of information; it’s what you bring to this space that truly shapes this into something meaningful for lots and lots of people. So, I thank you from the bottom of my soul and core of my big beautiful body for the love, life, and fun that we share on this blog, my friends. I’ll keep going. You keep coming here and shining your light. Dang, now I really, really want some cake. LOL! Okay, and lastly, come have some cake with me.

Swapping Bodies! Whaaa?

“You have got to be kidding me!”, I thought when I first read the title “What if you could experience life in another person’s body?” This BBC article was delivered to me by way of an email blast from one of my all-time-favorite Law of Attraction gurus, Mike Dooley.

I practically fainted when I read the title, because this, as many of you know, is the subject of one of my novels. You know, the novel that I’ve been writing for nearly a decade about the topic of merging one’s essence with another, swapping bodies in a delicious act of love and soul connection, and lighting up for one’s true soul mate, etc. Gawd, I love merging.

Anyway, I was excited as I followed the link. My heart was pounding. I was a bit jiggly and breathless as I waited those few seconds for the page to load. What I hoped for was a metaphysical exploration and explanation of what happens to me when I am in love with someone or something and merging energies with them and while that wasn’t what this particular article was about, it was still a very interesting article.

In short, two people don virtual reality headsets, called a “Machine to Be Another” in which the video from each person is ported over to the opposite headset. In the article, a male participant was able to see what the female participant was doing and vice-versa. Apparently, it takes the brain a few minutes to orient itself but it adapts pretty quickly and results in a very interesting, perception-altering experience for participants. These particular participants expressed that this exercise changed them for the better.

Machine to Be Another is part of a growing study of implicit racism and how to generate empathy for others but makers also see lots of other applications for the technology, including using it in therapeutic practices where a therapist can swap bodies with their patients to more clearly understand the patient’s issues and better empathize with them. The fact is that these devices change the brains of the wearers, at least, in the short term.

brain My theory for why people become accustomed to living in another gender’s body so quickly is that we’ve all lived before and we’ve all been both men and women. We remember. Our cells remember. Many of us know in some deep, soulful place that we are much, much more than these bodies that we currently occupy. We know that there is something much more profound and far-reaching happening with the human race. So, swapping bodies is natural to us because our brains are super computers designed to adapt instantly to stimuli and then yield expanded states of consciousness and higher functioning.

Okay, I’ve held you off long enough. The article totally makes me want to try this exercise. I wonder if they let just anyone do this? I wonder if it will become mainstream, like, will we see cafes opening all over the place where people can go in and have life-changing experiences? I can totally see this happening. Walk in one way and come out completely different but the same. I dig it. :) What about you guys? Would you want to try this?