Self Esteem is Sexy at Any Size

It’s true. Ask any dude and he’ll tell you that a woman with self-esteem, a woman who knows who she is and can actually think for herself is far sexier than some stick-thin bimbo with big boobs who leaks insecurity and pathos all over the room. Now, before you jump on me: This is not to say that stick-thin bimbos with big boobs can’t have self-esteem or be intelligent; they can. But, in a straight, side-by-side comparison between a chunky woman with self- esteem and a woman with a “hot body” and little self-esteem, the fatty with a healthy love for herself will always win.


Don’t believe me? That’s okay. I can’t really prove these assertions anyway as they are largely anecdotal. But, I can tell you that I have observed this interesting social phenom on many occasions, mostly, through my own experiences. This is not because I’m not interested in other people’s lives, but because I honestly do not know many women with the rampant body-love that I possess, so I have to use myself as the guinea pig.

But, back to the core message. I get hit on all of the time. Yes, me, at 250 pounds of hefty Germanic-Indian-and-French origin. Seriously. I do! Oh sure, plenty of people look right past me or through me like I’m not there, but that’s about them, not me. I can tell you that lots of people, the right people, notice me and my “healthy, happy, loving emanations”. I get looked at, up and down. I get hit on. My husband tells me this all of the time; dudes look me up and down, alot. Yes, even with my big booty and my joyous rolls of belly fat. They look. Why?

The secret is that I love myself. I love my life. I adore my body and that “light” of self-love just blitzkreigs out of me and into any given space, filling it with a breathy, astonishing, and buzzing buzziness. Okay, ya, ya, ya. Everyone knows that I’m terrific. But, I want YOU TO FEEL AND BE TERRIFIC!

I want you, dear readers, to know how awesome and gorgeous you are. I want every woman to feel her power and to feel her sexiness and to truly, deeply, and abidingly know that it doesn’t matter one little bit what you look like. What matters is how you feel. What matters is your mental health, your depth, your presence. Most guys, well, guys of substance and equal self-esteem, do not care if you have a fat ass. They don’t! They care that you can laugh and poke fun at yourself and poke fun at life’s travails. They care that you are healthy and happy, not “thin”. Trust me. Guys, back me up! Leave some comments. Let’s fix this female “mind-poop” once and for all!

Women are the ones who largely obsess over their size far more than men obsess over their wives or girlfriends’ sizes. If you could spend 1/10th of the time you now spend obsessing over your weight and instead find little ways to love yourself, to think about the miracle that you are, connect with your reasons for being here, in this particular body, and then embrace that journey? OMG! Your life would explode with energy, joy, movement, passion, and love.

So, I have an idea. Do this: Stand in front of a mirror every day for five or six minutes and tell yourself how cute or sexy or happy or present or beautiful you are. The adjective does not matter so long as it’s a positive adjective or statement. Do this even if you do not yet believe it. And, do this for a total of 30 days. Look at your body and thank her. Look at your breasts and tell them: “Thank you for being here with me and for feeding our children.” Tell your hips: “You are so awesome for holding me up, for allowing me to do so many things.” Tell your neck, “I love you, neck. Look at your cute little pad of pudge and how you laugh when I do”. Tell your feet: ” What a wonderful job you have done in supporting my life and movements, feet. You take so much and rarely complain and for this, I deeply love you.”

Go through your whole body and tell your entire body that you love and respect her. This exercise, if done diligently and with a full, soft heart, will change your mind and it will change your perspective. I promise. I promise that at the end of 30 days, you will feel differently about yourself. You will feel happier. You will begin to believe your own programming.

Try it and write to me. I want to know what you experience. And, if you want to write a guest blog post here about your experiences, ABSOLUTELY let me know. All my love to you, my friends. ~Lizzy

19 thoughts on “Self Esteem is Sexy at Any Size

    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Oh, Becki-love, That is such a sweet sentiment and so darling of you to say. I love you so much, sister and friend. Your Danne girl does know me, honey. She knows me through her amazing, loving, and heart-connected mama-bear. She knows me through the love that I feel for you. I talk to her all of the time and tell her how much she is missed and how all of the HOGgers can feel her riding with us when we are all together. Her photo is on my desk. I look into her face and tell her how beloved she is; I hold her (and your entire family) up in my thoughts and prayers every day. So, she knows me like you know me. For, love accomplishes everything; it removes barriers and bridges the gap between this world and the Other Side. Love is everything, darling. And, love is always known. XOXO

  1. slapthesunshine

    Hi BigLizzy,

    This is an amazing post and thank you for sharing! I love the confidence that you exude from your writing. I don’t hate my body, but there are so many parts that I wish I could fix (okay maybe I dislike my body when I really think about it). Thank you for bringing me back to reality and being thankful for what I have.

    May I please reblog this on my blog?

    Thank you:)

    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Hi, Sweetheart! So glad you like the post and found inspiration from it. It’s so interesting to me how we all feel this way. I mean, the majority of us feel this way at some point in our lives and rarely question it until we do. I really like how you get to the core of it in just a few sentences here. As in, yeah, maybe I dislike my body and maybe I need to address it. That is a really good place to start. You absolutely have carte blanche to re-blog anything that I write at any time, my sista. It’s an honor for me and makes me so pleased to be reaching women all over and helping them. I’ll be sure to come over and check out your blog, too. I can’t wait. Please, please keep in touch with me and consider doing a guest post on my blog about your story at some point. I would love that. Big, warm hugs!

      1. slapthesunshine

        Hi again BigLizzie:)
        I almost died with happiness when I read what you wrote- funny thing because one of my goals this week is to be featured on one website and I thought that would be impossible since I only just started blogging. So I would absolutely love to guest post on your blog!
        I know that one day I will gain the confidence you have for your body for my body as well (makes sense?), and I am so thankful that I have you as an inspiration for me along the way. The world needs more people like you who know who they are and stand their ground.
        Thank you again and lots of kisses and hugs!

      2. BigLizzy Post author

        Awww…sweetie! So glad you are happy about this. Law of Attraction really works, my darling friend from Singapore. (Yes, I combed all over your blog today and can’t wait to continue the exploration.:) Any time you are ready to place a post, you let me know. For now, it feels more comfortable for me to actually post content to my blog for other people. We’ll get your story up there when you are ready. Come to think of it: I should probably create a guest blog page and offer people guidelines. I’ll try to get to that soon. And, so glad that I inspire you. You do the exact same thing for me, friend. I mean it. Your blog is AWESOME! Big, warm hugs to you!

      3. slapthesunshine

        I would love to post anytime before Wednesday! Right after this comment, I am going to write a post about insecurity. It’s gonna take awhile as it’s quite a tough one. I realize that I haven’t really talked about myself on the blog, and it’s not fair to readers because the whole point that I started my blog was to share my journey.
        But what kind of topics would be worthy of a post or repost on your blog? I mean I’d imagine you wouldn’t just post any random topic on there from anybody, right? Drop by and take a look, preferably in a couple of hours’ time 😛 Mwah~~

      4. BigLizzy Post author

        Hi, SlaptheSunshine-honey! Awesome! So, so excited. I love your idea for the post on insecurity; it actually would be a topic that BBB would feature so long as you offer some positive ideas for how to overcome it or heal that rift inside or talk about what you want to have happen with yourself and your journey. I like to try and bring it back to the body, but emotions occur inside the body, so it’s a perfectly acceptable topic. I am just about to post my “Guest Blog” page with submission tips. should be up within the hour. Can’t wait to read your new post on your blog and the post you end up writing for BBB. This is so fun! Hugs and kisses!

      5. slapthesunshine

        Hey Lizzzzy! I’m still working on the post.. I need it to be perfect and there are things I want to write but don’t know if I should.. I’ll figure it out! Thanks for the tips though! I will definitely adhere to them. Also just for clarification, when you say “read your new post” and “the post you end up writing for BBB”, are you referring to two different posts? I’m actually writing a post right now regarding my insecurity with my body, which is what I would like to use for BBB. Sorry, I’m new at this blogging thing so I’m not sure what the rules are. But do let me know because I have another topic in mind as well that I won’t mind writing about for my new post.
        Thanks for your patience with this newbie..!

      6. BigLizzy Post author

        Hi, my darling friend. Yeah, I meant that I can’t wait to read whatever you write and wherever you put it! I love the topic of insecurity for BBB, but I didn’t want to assume you were sending that over to me versus using it on your own blog. 🙂 I happily and gratefully receive whatever you submit, sweet sister. That’s how much I love you. XOXO

      7. slapthesunshine

        Whew! I just finished perfecting my post. After the fourth hour, the words and thoughts are starting to jumble up but I pushed through! This would definitely be then that I think would be fit for BBB. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to do this!!! I really appreciate it. How do I send it over?? Actually I’m going to get some shut-eye now, so if there is any sending required, I would have to do that tomorrow when I wake up. Otherwise, feel free to grab it from my blog:)
        Lots and lots and lots of love, sunshine.

      8. BigLizzy Post author

        Hi, my friend! Sorry for the late reply. I was out on my motorcycle all weekend. When you are ready, please send the post to Thanks so much! I can’t wait to read your piece. XOXO

      9. slapthesunshine

        Morning honey!

        I actually sent you an email yesterday, but I just sent you another one in a word document. Let me know how it is 🙂 Hope you had a great weekend on your motorcycle!! I’m going to take my stitches out of my wisdom tooth today. Or I mean, the gums, since my tooth is gone 😛

        Hugs and kisses!

      10. BigLizzy Post author

        Yay! Just read your piece and it’s amazing, my sister. So, so excited. Can’t wait for it to go live. Check your e-mail for a message from me. Had just a few questions for you, then I can post your work. Thank you so much, honey. You’re awesome!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s