Now for some real fun. A few friends have asked me to write on this topic because they cannot believe the level and depth at which I feel things in my lovely body and when I tell them what happens for me in relationships sometimes, it takes their breath away (their words, not mine). So, I agreed to try and capture the essence of merging. Hence, this-here post.
One of the Novels that I’m Writing on “Merging”
As some of you know, I have been writing, like, five books for seven years (or is it seven books for five years? Hmmm…doesn’t matter). For convenience sake, let’s just say that I write a crap-load of material for all kinds of applications, audiences, and usages. One of the novels on which I have been working, for years, is on this topic of merging. The working title is Le Merge or to completely “Frenchify” it, Le Fondre. But, the title will likely change, because fondre is a transitive verb and I use it like a noun. Hmmm…maybe not. Maybe I’ll keep the title.
Anyway, this book describes in vivid detail how it feels to be in my body and merging energies with other things and people; yes, it is about how it feels inside of me, but explored by way of my two main characters who live in a fantastical futuristic society where there are ample laws about pair-bonding, unions, sexuality, behaviors, etc. Sound familiar? It should.
In this book’s culture, people are only allowed one merge per life so it’s a big one. It’s, in essence, one chance to get a relationship right. One’s “merge” presents him or herself through the course of one’s life and then you are supposed to get “married” and live out your days, happily. But, of course, there are loopholes and problems and issues because it’s humanoid people we are talking about here, and well, I needed a story to write. ; )
The core theme of the book is that when we bond with others, there is so much more happening on a psychic and body level than what most of us are able to process or to even make conscious. This unseen, unexplored, and largely ignored level of what’s happening is where my experiences come in. And, what I experience when bonded with others is apparently really different than what most other people feel because when I tell people how it feels for me, they stare at me like I have a red horn in the center of my forehead. Or, a tail. Or, both.
What is Merging?
So, let’s get into some of it. Merge…mmm….what a great word. What an unassuming and sweet little word that on the surface seems so soft, so little and like it doesn’t have very much going on with it. But, I assure you that merge is a profound, life-changing, deeply sensing word. Merge is a word that contains a hefty strata of meaning and emotion below its small, still surface; it’s a universe inside of itself. And, well, doesn’t that just sound like a whole lotta people we know?
So, what do I mean by merge? Just what the word means: To unify with another. To take something into oneself and tease apart the meaning, to open it, lay it out flat for a quick look, or to bunch it into one’s hands and deeply inhale it, to pull it inside of you. To pull experience through yourself, to pull others through the self. To feel on the level of the cells, the molecules, the center of everything.
It’s incredibly delightful and so, so delicious. Merging is the single most sensual, engaging, and deep-feeling thing in which human beings can engage. But, we don’t even know that we do it. And, some people believe that it is wrong. I had a psychic once tell me that merging is totally inappropriate, but I disagree with her. Merging, between two consenting people is awesome and transformative. It is all kinds of right and so deeply pleasurable. Again, this happens by consent, not coercion. It’s an agreement made instantly between two or more people.
How Does Merging Feel?
So, how does it feel? When I turn my attention to someone or something, the whole freaking planet tilts a little and everything gapes open instantly. Colors get brighter. Everything sharpens and becomes more outlined, more “there”. Moments pass slower but at the same time, quicker. There, right there in the room, a gauzy light blossoms up and out, feelings bound into the space between us, and in a quick-snap, loosens our bodies. When I look into another person’s face, I am peering from them and they are peering back at me from me. It’s such an astonishing sensation. I can feel other people and things inside of my body, but I feel them as if I am inside of their body simultaneously. ARG! It’s so hard to capture this with such cloggy words, but that’s basically it. That’s merging. Okay, let me try to go deeper with it:
You and me. Standing only a couple of feet apart but space means nothing because you and I are one, one body, one entity, one staggeringly beautiful consciousness, one breath breathing the room together, breathing each other together. I feel you, sir, in my legs. Your presence, full and rich inside of me, pouring into my thighs, filling my trunk, inside the whole of me, the core of me, but also, beyond this body, our body. I can feel you looking in at me and out at the world. I can feel me looking in at you and out at the world. You are me. I am you. We are each.
Until I looked into your eyes, I knew not that I was missing anything, but there it is. You, my match. A piece that I was missing until now, a part of myself returned to me. And, when we touch each other, oh, God. The planet fades. We speed out of that moment and become light, bending into molecules and atoms and quarks and potential, becoming breath, undulating from the dense physical into the vastness of space, together and apart, co-mingled, merged, and still us, but at one with all of creation. Yep, that’s it. Merging.
It is RARE
Merging happens to me with only the right people, people who are a match with me energetically. It is immensely rare and precious. I have only had this happen a small number of times, but each time, it’s better than the last, it’s deeper than the last. I most often merge with animals or nature. I can do this with planetary essences must easier than with people but when it happens with people, oh, it is so fun, so mystical, and wonderful.
What about you? Does this happen to you? What do you make of this phenom? Does anyone know what this is called or if there is an equivalent in the metaphysical realms?